Lately I’ve worried about Sam’s ability to hear. Because it seems that he cannot. No matter what I say to him, he doesn’t respond. Also, like I’ve mentioned, he talks really loud.
“Hey Sam. Do you want a piece of leftover Easter candy for dessert?”
Nothing.
“Sam, how did it go as Man of the Day at school today?”
Silence. He keeps playing with his cars or drawing or whatever. It’s like living with Helen Keller (except, for course, he can see. It’s like living with Beethoven.)
So, I started the annoying-to-everyone habit of repeating my question until he answered.
(“Sam, howwasmanoftheday? “Sam, howwasmanoftheday? “Sam, howwasmanoftheday?”)
And, eventually he does answer. But it takes so long that I figured we were due for a hearing exam.
Maybe tubes. Maybe hearing aids.
Then Sam started tball.
And M coached.
And we learned an important lesson.
Five-year-old boys can’t hear.
None of them can.
Below is the photographic proof.
Here’s M telling the Rockies to go in and get on their batting helmets on.

 Here’s Sam, who has, apparently, not heard M’s instructions. Actually, it seems none of them did.

M: “Sam, did you hear me ask you ten times to put on your batting helmet?”
Sam: silence and chatter with his friends, who also don’t seem to hear M
M: “Guys! Hey, guys! Get on your helmets!”
Team: Chatter, Chatter, Chatter
M: “Sam! Remember to step up to the plate!”
M: “Sam, did you hear me? You’ve gotta step up to the plate.”
M: “Sam! Now you’ve got to get out of the way or the bat will hit you.”
“Sam! We are still batting. Keep your helmet on.”

 “Guys! Get ready to catch the ball. It will come right to you. Guys! Gloves to the ground.”

“Boys?! The game is over, boys! Can you come over here? Guys! Can you hear me?!”

So, anyway, isn’t that great news that Sam is completely normal and just very, very distracted?
I thought so too.

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1 Response
  1. Amen, sister. Maybe it’s a boy thing. Thomas also appears to be deaf half the time. It’s like I’m talking to a wall. Thomas, let’s put your shoes on. Thomas, get your shoes. Thomas, doesn’t it look like Clara is having fun outside by herself? Let’s get your shoes on and go outside. THOMAS GET YOUR SHOES!! I did talk to a mom this weekend about boys and girls, and she assures me that boys are way better/easier than girls as teenagers. So, we’ve got that going for us.

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