Empress and Slave

April 9, 2013
In
No comments
Mary Karr, one of my favorite authors, calls motherhood “the life of an empress and slave.” Never does this description seem more accurate than when I’m lifeguarding the kids in the pool. 
Is it because the kids sense I’m too relaxed by the pool?
I am not. Even when Nate, the weakest swimmer, is taking a nap inside, and I’m only lifeguarding three strong swimmers, the job is not easy.
It’s because our kids feel like the swimming pool is a stage. They sense I’m acting a little too much like an empress with my feet up. They feel like they need to fill my time and pique my interest with poolside shenanigans. 
“Mommmmy!” Sam yells. “Do you think I can get all the water out of the pool with this measuring cup?” Mommmy??!”

“Mommmyyyy!” Catie calls. “The water is freezing!” Do you think we’ll go in? Mommy! Look at us! Do you think we’ll go in? Mommy! Elisabeth is in! Do you think we’ll go in further?! Mommy! It’s freezing!”

“Mommy! Look at me. I’m snuggling with you. Mommy! Look! Is it okay I’m wet, Mommy? Am I getting you wet? Do you like getting wet?! No, I don’t need a towel, Mommy. I’ll use your shirt.”

“Mommmy! We are really getting in this time! What are you doing, Mommy? Look at us getting in the freezing pool. Can you believe it, Mommy? Are you watching?!”

“Mommy? Can you watch me sit in this float in the pool? Mommy? Why are you looking at Sam? Can you watch me float around? Pleaasse!?”

“Mommy! I’m doing Tae Kwon Do! Look at me! Are you looking?! I’m going to do my Tae Kwon Do moves on you. Look!”

“I am the Tae Kwon Do champion! Look, Mommy! I’m the winner. I’m kicking everyone! Look! Mommy!”

“Oops. Sorry I kicked you, Mommy. I’m sorry. But you weren’t looking at me. Please can you watch me do Tae Kwon Do?”
“Here! I’ll do it again. TAE KWON DO! I am Aquaman Tae Kwon Do! Watch! Do you know about Aquaman Tae Kwon Do guy? That’s me. Watch and I’ll show you!”
“Okay. Mommy. You looked away! I’ll do it again. I’ll start over. Okay! I’m Aquaman Tae Kwon Do! Watch!”

“Why do you keep watching the girls?! Here. I’ll start over again. Mommy! Watch! Are you watching?! Mommy.”

“Mommy! Take a picture of me. Oh, wait, Mommy. You missed it. I was looking at you. Okay, NOW! Take a picture! Please! Mommy! Are you watching?! Take another picture.”

“Look at me hugging Madison! Watch. She LOVES it when I hug her. Please can you take a whole bunch of pictures of me hugging her?! Mommy. Don’t watch Sam. Watch me. I’m hugging Madison. Mommy?! Are you watching?!”
“Look how I can hold up this floatie, Mom. Do you see me? Did you think I would be able to hold up this float? I’m holding it OVER MY HEAD! Mommy?! Watchhhhhhhh!!!”

“Mommy. Watch all of us. We are all in the float. Can you please watch us float around the pool? Look. We’re all doing it together. Mommy, can you make sure Sam doesn’t flip us over? Please can you watch, Mommy?”

“Mommmyyy! Daddy found a frog in the trees! Mommy, why did he give it to Sam? Can you find me a frog, Mommy?! I have an idea, Mommy! YOU COULD HOLD THE FROG WHILE YOU’RE JUST SITTING THERE!”




“Mommy? Are you watching? The frog is going down the slide! Watch!”
“Mommy? Why are you closing your eyes? Have you ever seen a frog slide before? Do you think he wants to ride in the float? Mommy? Aren’t you watching?”

About the author

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.