What a weird week for the weather. And for us control freaks.
Tropical Storm Bill has caused an infinite loop of if-then scenarios for our family. If they cancel swim team, then we’ll have more time to get to camp. If they cancel camp, then we’ll go to Target. If we try to get groceries, then we’ll discover everyone else has cleared the shelves. If it actually doesn’t rain the day it’s supposed to, then we’ll anxiously stare at the weather reports. If if pours the day it’s supposed to be clear, we will lose our minds.
The problem is that weather seems so controllable. Even hurricanes and tropical storms feel predictable at first. For nearly forty years, I’ve watched the radar of storms in the Gulf. The chainsaw-shaped blob, moving right along the forecasted models, looks so tidy. Like a bowling ball headed right down the center of the lane.
Except, of course, the predicted, the expected, the controlled, never really happens.
And yet, we all keep believing it will. Meteorologists tell us the exact amount of rain we will receive and when we can expect it to fall. They show radar forecasts and bulleted lists of what to do to prepare. Buy water. Fill your gas tank. Stay home. Gather flashlights. Hunker down.
These instructions speak to the most human part of my heart. The scared part of me, the part that wants the universe under my thumb, loves these lists. I’m terrified of having to handle life on life’s terms, so I jump at the idea of control.
My weird math looks something like this: I’m afraid of lightening striking my house, but there’s no protection against that, so I’ll buy a case of water. BECAUSE AT LEAST IT’S SOMETHING. NO CHAOS CAN HAPPEN HERE. I HAVE DONE THE LIST.
Only the control freak’s math is stupid and my soul knows it. The part of me that hears God’s Word sees the lies. This part of me keeps screaming, “Look! See? All the if-then scenarios and obsessing didn’t change where one drop of water fell!”
Why I can’t I learn that tragedy does strike–and only Jesus, prayer, and the love of family and friends really do any good? The obsessing and micro-managing do nothing.
Why can’t I remember that this is not life on life’s terms but life on God’s terms? And God has promised He’s got this. He has promised that it will all be good. I so want to remember that.
So bring it on, weird weather, Tropical Storm Bill, and anxiety. Give me what you got. I’m not running to my lists or my if-then scenarios or to to buy any more cases of water.
At least not today.
