Another benefit of the twins being at school all day (besides Nate having free reign of their toys) is that it nurtures their individuality. Although five-days-a-week for them is not what we would have chosen, so much time at school gives them the chance for some independence. Make their own friends. Sit separately at meals. Work at opposite tables. Logistically, this is a challenge for us at home. Our family groups them together because it’s so darn convenient to lump together the two kids who are at the same level in almost every way.
We really are trying to foster their individuality at home. Trying to call them by their names instead of The Twins. Encouraging Elisabeth’s idea that she would like to share a room with Catie soon. Helping Sam to see how fun it is to be a big brother to little, impressionable Nate.
Last night I took Sam on a “date” while the girls were at ballet. Just the two of us at Target. He got to pick out his Icee flavor–rather than listening to his sister’s suggestions. He felt so important slogging the groceries into the cart. We talked a lot about his strong muscles–and there was no competing twin there to push him out of the way and show off hers. We had so much fun that we planned more future Target dates.
It was all going so well…
…until I realized that Elisabeth needed some new shoes. The problem was that Elisabeth’s feet were at ballet. I hope I didn’t undo all my good building-up-Sam-as-an-individual when I asked him to try on pink, sparkly shoes for me. He was (mostly) happy to oblige. And even felt important that his feet saved the day!
And then we went to get a cookie and chat more about his big muscles.
