Dear Mom Talking (or texting or emailing or playing Words with Friends) on Your Phone,
Hi. It’s me, the other mom over here. The one trying not to discipline your child as he “shoots mine dead” with his pretend gun.
Please trust that the last thing I want to do this morning is get involved in your bid-ness. I’m tired, too. And I have enough kids of my own. I really don’t want to care what your kid is doing. I want to drink this cup of coffee and zone out. Or check my email. Or call a friend with a sympathetic ear and tell her about spilling my coffee because I didn’t sleep last night and am more clumsy than a hallway of seventh graders.
I’m not doing those things because I’m here with my kids and they deserve (actually, crave, need, and are uplifted by) my attention. And we also have the little problem of your darling still shooting mine. While you’re still on your phone.
So, even though I don’t want to get involved in your child-rearing here, can I make an observation? Your kid really wants you to shut the phone and pay attention to him. I know, I get it. You’ve done nothing all day but lie on your living room floor and play CandyLand (or perhaps “shoot other people”) with him. You need a break. But you know what I’ve discovered? Our lives as moms quickly become a sum total of our habits. Ignoring your kid once (while he clearly violates some standard-play-place etiquette, I might add) is no big deal. But before you know it, you’re used to being on your phone, and your kid is used to being ignored. And a brat. And it’s a big ugly circle…he’s frustrated and naughty so he gets on your nerves so you need to call your friends to complain and wonder why your kid is so bad. And so on.
And while you’re doing that, your kid is still shooting mine.
As I’ve given up on my coffee, wrangled my kids into their shoes, headed out the door,
and am piling my kids into their car seats and answering their questions about the “mean kid,” I look at the window of the play place.
Your kid is still shooting mine through the glass. He looks really sad to see us leave.
And you’re still on your phone.
All the best!
Tina
