No, of course the best advice is not that you should sleep when your baby sleeps. This is actually terrible advice. If you do this, you will be spending every single one of your waking hours with a moody, grouchy roommate who is prone to violent temper tantrums and insists you fulfill every one of its needs. You need some time off.
That’s why the very best advice for any mom is this: join a gym. No, not just to get into shape (we’ll get to that one), but because of all the other benefits. Huge benefits. Benefits that you need as a mom. You might think gyms were created for twenty-something men and body builders, but they were created for you, moms everywhere.
For real. Moms should be discharged from the hospital with a fee gym membership–a membership all of us moms can keep until our kids start high school. My kids are 9,6,6, and 3 and our gym membership is still one of my most important tools in surviving the days.
Most of all joining a gym helps combat the loneliness and isolation that comes with mothering a six-week-old or a six-year-old. You need some time to yourself every day, an hour or two when you accomplish something besides the day-long string of mommy duties.
Most of this comes in the form of free childcare at your new gym. Your baby will get used to the day care for an hour a day, so can you. Gym childcare workers are usually pretty good. The pay is better than average for them, the facilities are state-of-the-art, and the hours are flexible since the gym is open all the time. I’ve dropped my babies off at some church nurseries with ten-year-olds in charge, gym childcare look like Mary Poppins compared to that.
Learn to trust the workers and then, for goodness sakes, drop your sweet kiddo off for as long as those ladies will let you. If you head right to the locker room for your first long shower of the week, do not feel one tiny bit guilty.
You don’t want to shower at the gym? Here’s an idea, go and do…Whatever. You. Want. When Catie was six months old, I checked her into the childcare and read a magazine on the treadmill. Maybe I walked a little. Maybe not. If the baby weight is bugging you, go ahead and exercise, but you don’t have to. With the twins, I showered while they were in the childcare. With Nate, I went to the cafe and wrote a book. Did I care that I never burned a calorie among hundreds of men and women striving for physical perfection? Pfft. Heck no.
Joining a gym has other benefits, like the nice surprise that workout clothes are a totally appropriate wardrobe choice for almost every part of your day. Go buy yourself the nicest yoga pants and cute sweatshirts you can afford. Wear them to birthday parties, the grocery store, to bed, whatever. Workout clothes are the mommy uniform.
After a few months, you’ll also meet some friends at the gym. If you join a spinning or yoga class, you’ll see the same women every day. You might meet another new mom who can commiserate about how gross spit-up smells. Or it might be a woman who has no babies and only wants to talk about Maroon 5 and self-tanners. And you might need to talk about that much more than you need to discuss spit-up. Because, hello, you’re already wearing THAT on your new yoga pants.
I’m serious about this one, y’all. Pick up your keys, pack up your children, and go join the nearest gym.
