Tonight I’m speaking at a benefit about healing prayer for this wonderful ministry.
I’m showing you a picture of the dress I’m wearing (from here…love!) because I don’t want to show you a picture of myself. Besides having my eyes closed in the picture, I probably look just like I feel: freaked out.
It’s the weight of the talk. Even though I’ve done lots of public speaking. Even though I LIKE public speaking. Even though I taught for years and consider it one of my passions, talking about something as personal as healing prayer worries me.
Not the talking about it, but the risk of not talking about it right. This is so important. The process of God healing me is still new in my mind, how do I accurately convey it to a group of people. Be funny? Be lovable? By myself? What if that’s not funny or lovable?
Or worse. What if I cry?
The last year has left me pretty emotionally raw. Being sick. Being healed. Nurturing all these kids. I feel like I need to process everything that has happened. I need a week or two to ponder it all. And, really, talking it out, pondering it, in front of 70 people seems a bit caustic.
This week, Prayer has really helped calm my nerves about this. (See how unprepared I am for this talk? I’m still trudging through discoveries like, “Hey! I’m really scared about telling a group how amazing prayer is. I have an idea! I should pray!”)
But in the interest of muddling through this with all of you, instead of with all of THEM who are there to hear an experienced speaker, I’ll try that here…
Lord,
This is your message I’m sharing. These are your people I’m talking to. What do you want them to know, Lord? Reveal that to me, both right now and as I’m talking tonight. Saturate me with your peace–both right now and tonight as I talk and even in the future as I reflect on what I said and how the group reacted. Help them laugh when I expect them to and not when I don’t. Most of all Lord, help me see this is not about me. This is about you and reaching your lost people. I love you. Tina
Thanks for being here today with me.
I’ll let you know how it goes tonight.
