Dear Ellie…
I love this picture of you on your first day of Pre-K 4! I love your smile. I love the way you found your name and sat right in your chair, exactly like you knew you should.
Just like your prayer every night, you want to “do what my grown-ups say.” You also like your grown-ups to do what you say, and you are so thrilled that Mrs. Gibson remembers to call you Elisabeth.
You’re getting so big! I can’t believe you’ll go to school every day this year. El, that makes me a little sad. From the time you were a baby, under Catie’s careful watch and Sam’s need for you, you’ve been a little darling to our family. Each of us adores you.
We are in awe of you. You are (usually) calm when the Hergenrader house is chaos. You are (usually) serene when your brothers and sister are bent-out-of-shape. You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, and because of that, people might think you don’t feel life as much as your siblings.
But as your mommy, I know life can be just as scary and just as exciting for you. But you tackle everything with such a black-and-white determination, you’re so sure about what is wrong and right, that you never seem to second-guess yourself. Sometimes I worry that you’ll wear yourself out with that kind of determination.
Remember when you and I went ice skating together this summer? Months before, you had watched those ice skaters at the mall and decided that you would be one of them. And on the day you chose, you dressed in your perfect ice-skating outfit (leotard and tights). When Daddy and I told you that you might be cold, you wouldn’t hear it. When I suggested you might fall down, you laughed.
When you got out on the ice, and it was colder and harder than you thought, you wanted to quit. You cried and held onto the side and begged me to carry you the the chairs. “It’s not like it’s supposed to be!” you said.
But when I told you to focus on the goal of skating a few feet, holding my hand, you did it. And, that afternoon on the ice, you and I both discovered something: It’s fun to learn together.
You don’t have to have all the answers, El. Even though you don’t like your grown-ups to make mistakes, we sometimes do. We’ll figure this year out together…and that’s the most fun.
El, Ellie, Elisabeth, you have quite a role in our family. Sam and Catie want you as their constant playmate, their hon, their boss, their baby. You are my my little darling, my Ewie. I’ll promise to hold your hand and help you focus on your goals.
Until you’re ready to let go.
I love you,
Mommy
