Today’s Fraudulently Asked Questions is with Nate. It’s officially summer. This has rocked his world.
FAQ#1: Can you tell us about this picture, Nate?
Nate: You bet I can. This is me BEFORE school got out for the summer. Here I am, EATING ICE CREAM and WATCHING SPONGEBOB. Man. I so did not even realize what I had back then. Just me and Mommy living it up as best friends. Dude. I wish I could go back.
FAQ#2: Life has changed now that your brother and sisters are on summer vacation?
Nate: Like you would not believe. For one kid, Mommy will pay $4.00 for a Batman ice cream with gumball eyes. But for four? Are you kidding me? She’s like, “Here. Have some Flav-R-Ice from last summer.” And forget about the TV. Now it’s educational shows that teach you how to read. Or no TV and actual reading. I’m dying here.
FAQ #3: But isn’t it fun to have other kids around for company?
Nate: Fun that all the big kids want their toys back? No. I had it made when Sam and the girls didn’t know I messed with their stuff all day. Fun that they all talk ALL THE TIME? No. Mommy and I used to have some really good chats about monster trucks and stuff. Now, these other kids are always there and ALWAYS TALKING. Not good, man. Not good.
FAQ #4: Maybe the other kids will start some summer programs soon?
Nate: You would hope so. But so far, it’s just all of them home, playing with their toys and keeping me from the good ice cream and good TV. I’m already counting the days until school starts back up and life with Mommy can get good again.
