Happy Friday! Today’s Fraudulently Asked Questions is with Sam. We’re talking breakfast.
FAQ #1: Are those Crunch Berries in your breakfast bowl? Are Crunch Berries your very favorite breakfast?
Sam: Crunch Berries are my second favorite breakfast. And I never get to eat them. We only get to have sugary cereal when my dad is out-of-town. My mom gets too busy to cook one of her normal breakfasts, and so we get stuff like PopTarts and Crunch Berries.
FAQ #2: What does your mom usually cook for breakfast?
Sam: Really weird stuff. Muffins made from all these strange flours. Humungous pots of oatmeal that kind of taste like glue after a little bit. Lately she’s been making these strange pancakes from just pumpkin and almond butter. She makes them every day. Only my mom would make pancakes out of vegetables. That’s really not an appropriate breakfast.
FAQ #3: What do you tell her you want for breakfast?
Sam: Skinny yellow waffles! I tell my mom every single morning that Skinny Yellow Waffles are my favorite breakfast. But she keeps making fat waffles from things like flax seeds. And those strange pumpkin pancakes. Every. Single. Morning.
FAQ #4: But then, um, CRUNCH BERRIES last week? Isn’t that the opposite of a healthy breakfast?
Sam: You know what it was? Gone! Us kids ate the whole box in two mornings. If my dad would’ve been eating too, it would have been one morning. We were so glad she didn’t have time for those fat waffles or pumpkin pancakes. If my dad leaves again, I’m asking for skinny yellow waffles AND Lucky Charms AND PopTarts. Plus, I’m thinking of hiding her almond butter.
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Ed. Note: So, yeah. I just noticed the background of this picture…. I tried to edit it out, but I couldn’t do it. There you go! So, now you have a glimpse into our crazy lives (and into our bathroom). Maybe I can use this as a talking point for why we close the door when we go to the bathroom.
