The sepia effect is for my melancholy mood. Ever have those nights when it feels like your kids are growing up too fast? Maybe it’s been after a day like I had, when their time-outs were in the double digits, and I can’t imagine them growing up to be anything more than whiny, insecure, selfish convicts. Who argue with each other.
And with me.
On nights like this I feel ineffective as a mom. I feel so sad that one day they’ll all grow up and leave me and never appreciate how hard I tried. They’ll only remember that I wouldn’t sing them a sixteenth lullaby and then accused them of manipulating me (which they were). They’ll move out and never realize how hard I wanted to love them, even if it meant needing a nap on the couch at the same moment all four needed my arms around them.
After a Bedtime Battle that seemed to start the moment they woke up today, I’m exhausted.
And they’re all finally asleep.
And now I miss them.
Which probably means I’m overly tired.
And need to go to sleep myself.
Yes, the time on this post is correct.
It’s 9:17 PM.
Goodnight.