Last week we put Best of Times Beach House on VRBO, with the hopes that if we built a cute house and if we built a vivid online description of that house, renters would come.
Oh. My. Goodness.
They have come. They have come through emails, emails, and more emails. Turns out that when a family is spending $2,000 to rent a house, they want all the details. They want to be sure they are choosing THE BEST POSSIBLE HOUSE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. They want to be assured they’re getting a below average price on an above average house.
Truthfully, I think our house is fantastic. I love our little cottage and I love Galveston. I really think any family will have the BEST TIME there.
But am I able to tell any of these potential renters that?
I am not. Friends, the gift of selling is not a gift I have. I am an idiot when it comes to answering questions about the house.
(I’m sure this confession is very comforting to M, who has trusted me to MAKE SOME MONEY off the beach house. He’s probably calling a beach house management company right now and asking if they have a saleswoman, ANY SALESWOMAN, who are not lame at email replies).
Because I’m sure a professional could handle questions like, “is the beach close?” better than I can. I cannot. When a potential renter asks me that, I think, “Yes. It’s an easy two-block walk. It’s super close. It’s a fun walk because the little beachy neighborhood is cute and festive.”
But then I think, “What if this renter is in a wheelchair? Or has some other disability? What if I only believe it’s close because I like to walk tot he beach?” Then I worry the renter will hate me and our house.
So, I answer with some lame reply like, “The walk to the beach can be not too bad.”
Which, in the world of online rentals, translates into, “It’s a five-mile trek through Galveston’s slums. Uphill both ways. You will get lost and your children will buy drugs from the people pickpocketing you.”
Needless to say, it’s all very stressful. And so constant. Lots of emailers insist I call them to answer their questions. At first that terrified me more than the emailing. I worried that if these potential renters had my phone number, they would call me at all hours of the day.
But after several lame email replies, I reconsidered. Maybe it was just the email that was making me sound so crazy. Maybe I could show my enthusiasm better on the phone.
Here’s an excerpt from my one and only phone call:
Potential Renter: So, is the house close to the beach?
Me: Ummmmmm. Yes.
*long pause*
PR: Are you sure?
Me: No, it’s close. I mean, yes. It’s good. I can tell you more. The walk is, ummmm, so fun. You can, ummmmm, walk through Pirates Beach. That’s ummmmmmm the neighborhood. It’s ummmmm super cute. Very fun, ummmmm, little walk to the beach.
PR: But you have a golf cart for rent also?
Me: Yes! The golf cart is, ummmmmm, so wonderful. Because, ummmm, you know, it’s hard to walk to the beach. And, ummmmm, carry all your stuff at the same time. Unless, ummmm, you don’t mind walking to the, ummmmm, beach. So, yeah.
Clearly the potential renter was SO EXCITED about renting our house. Especially since I totally sold it.
Humiliating and terrifying conversations like this are good for me. Little by little I’m learning to trust myself. The house is wonderful; we did a good job. It’s okay to be proud of it. It’s okay to be enthusiastic.
It’s okay to not be an idiot when trying to sell something.
I’m guessing that’s going to give me and our renters a lot more peace of mind.
