As you may remember, I’m a big believer that birth order shapes personalities. The more kids I have, the more I see it happening in my own family. Oldest kids (at least Catie) are not as flexible because they don’t have to be. As a newborn, when she needed to nap, we came home so she could have the same rocking chair, the same crib, and the same mommy snuggling her in the same routine.
Very different than the world our fourth child will live in.
He’ll have to be flexible. He’ll have to fit in. I’m not sure which is better. Catie has a lot of responsibility, and she (mostly) handles it well. The fourth boy will be flexible and probably more lighthearted, but so much has already been decided for him. And he’s not even born yet.
In so many ways, Catie defined our world. With her birth, we discovered that our kids tend to be thoughtful, clingy, observant, verbal, and cautious–all strong characteristics of Catie’s. Had she been a rough, headstrong boy, would we have raised all our kids differently? Probably. That’s the kind of influence the first child has on the family.
And if they’re anything like Catie, they expect to have that influence on everyone they meet. They’re definers.
Because she’s the oldest, because she’s almost six, because she’s been through this before (x2), and because she’s so exceptional at expressing her feelings, I’m not worried about this transition for Catie. Unrelated to her birth order–or heck, probably everything is related to that–she’s always been exceptional at knowing when she needs M. or me and telling us. This trait will be invaluable during the transition of the new baby.
In fact, I’ve heard this about big families, the oldest child takes charge. I can already feel myself comforted by the fact that Catie will be here while we’re at the hospital. Not only because she’s the oldest and accepts the responsibility so well.
But because she’s sweet, reliable, communicative Catie.
And we love her for it. Every single one of her oldest child characteristics. And every single one we don’t know she has yet.
