Schedule of February 2…Nate’s Grouchiest Day in recent memory
6 AM: Nate up and crying. A lot. Rubbing his eyes. Saying “no!”
{vague time here of getting the other kids ready for school… pony-tailing hair, arguing about itchy socks, flinging waffles onto paper plates, and packing backpacks…Nate follows me around and whines for much of it, If I hold him, he cries. If I put him down, he screams.}
7:40: Bus comes to pick up Catie. M walks her to the bus stop. I hand him Nate and pray he doesn’t bring him back until bedtime.
8 : M leaves for work, and to take the twins to school. M screams, “Goggy! Goggy!” {translation: “daddy! daddy! I’m trapped here with an impatient mommy, who’s eyeing my crib!”}
8:30: At the end of my rope, I give Nate a shot (of Tylenol). He manages to knock the dispenser out of my hand and onto my shirt. I offer him a Capri Sun chaser (Capri Sun is his kryptonite for a temper tantrum). He refuses and howls louder.
9: Despite his head shaking and “NO!” screaming, I put him in his crib. He screams so loud I go back in there and remove his clothes to find the spider that is surely biting him.
9:30: Finding nothing, I offer him all sorts of contraband; anything to stop the crying…cookies, chocolate milk, my chocolate-covered protein bar. When he even refuses a fruit roll-up, I know we’re in for a very long day.
10: He screams more hysterically when I set him down, so I google “separation anxiety” on my iPhone. The iPhone is Nate’s other kryptonite for a temper tantrum. But this time, when he takes it out of my hand, he attempts to throw it. Something is really wrong.
10:30: While holding Nate, I put on work-out clothes and try a walk outside with him. Big surprise. This makes him scream. Afraid the neighbors will call CPS, we go back into our house, our house that seems to have shrunk in the past 3 hours.
11: More Tylenol.
11:30: I’m on my third chocolate-covered protein bar of the day. What else am I going to eat with a toddler hitting me and screaming? And they taste good. And make me feel better about the screaming toddler. And they give me energy, right?
Noon: Praying for discernment about whether or not to go to the ER. Crazy, I know, but what am I missing that HE WON’T STOP CRYING??!
12:30: I start crying.
1: I Google sciatic nerve pain on my iPhone. One site reports that women who lug around babies experience inflamed sciatic nerves. Go figure.
1:30: Give Nate a huge bowl of jelly beans. Thousands of Jelly Bellys. He’s so shocked, I’m able to set him down and turn on the The Wiggles. Loud. We don’t usually watch TV, but I need a plan.
1:40: Slowly take the JB away from a screaming Nate and quickly redirect him to the TV. He’s never seen The Wiggles before. He loves The Wiggles! I love The Wiggles! We watch the entire DVD. ONE HOUR OF THE WIGGLES! He holds his blanky, sucks his paci, and is finally quiet.
2:40: I throw him in his crib for a nap. He sleeps. I weep with relief.
3:10: Nate starts screaming. How could that child only have take a 20-minute nap? I’m exhausted, and I wasn’t the one who spent the day crying. Much.
{vague time here of other kids getting done with school, working on endless homework with Catie, snacks, pottying, breaking up fights. AND NATE CRYING.}
6: M calls about the “crazy day” he’s had. I tell him we’re driving toward his work RIGHT NOW and meeting him at a nearby restaurant.
6:15 : Fight traffic to land at Taco Cabana. Nate is still crying. I have had it. The other kids have stopped talking. They are scared of me. Except Nate. HE IS STILL FUSSING. Other customers in the restaurant watch my eerie calm. The moms know the look in my eye. It has been a day.
6:30: M finally arrives. He knows the look too. He hands me my purse and tells me to “do something relaxing.”
7: I go to Whole Foods and spend $50 on two bags of groceries. I feel better.
8: I come home. The house is quiet. I kiss my husband good-night and go to sleep.
I have had many of those days! So many, and you know what got us through? The Wiggles! They have some kind of magic powers, I’m telling you. Once they even made Bella stop crying when she had an ear infection.
Shane