Our kids are at the age where they’re starting to understand relationships. Yesterday Catie pulled me aside and confidentially explained to me about my moods. She said,“just so you know, when you’re in a bad mood, we notice. Sometimes we don’t even want to be around you.”
I explained that was kind of the point of a bad mood. It’s a way of telling the world you need some alone time.
As the twins begin to understand relationships, they have lots of questions about their relationship with God. They’re moving past God as a one-way street, someone only to believe in. Now that they’re 7, they’re questioning just how double-sided this relationship is.
For example, is God trying to talk to them? If He is, how? When Noah and Moses heard God’s voice, was it His actual voice? Does God talk to us like that today?
Does God talk to you like that, Mom?
So, we’re heavy into conversations about listening to God. I’ve told them God usually talks to me through what I want. When I’m praying for something, but I can’t imagine how this change is going to happen, God is already moving my heart around. Little by little, I want tthings I’ve never wanted before. And those little changes are like a maze that nudges my heart in the right direction.
The twins wanted specifics. What if you don’t listen to God? How do you know it’s God talking to you?
So, I gave them examples:
- Listening to God about My Health—Lately my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has flared. My life got off the rails in December. I said yes to all the chocolate-covered peanut butter balls, lemon icebox cookies, volunteer gigs, and parties, and I didn’t rest. Now, I’m paying for it with chronic pain and needing to sleep several more hours a night. And even though this flair is not fun, it’s important. Right now, I need rest so badly, I only have energy for a few parts of my life, mostly just family and writing. But I don’t feel unsettled about the rest of my life going on without me, so I know this is where God wants me. We’re spending lots of hours at home, and the whole family feels content with it. God wants us home and together right now.
- Changing My Desire for Social media—God has also been working on me about Facebook/Instagram. I’ve had a nagging feeling my relationship with social media isn’t healthy. The analytical part of my brain could look at old pictures of high school friends for hours, believing I understand their life based on what they post to 700 friends. Even though I always leave a social media session emptier, I can’t help but log on to see what my neighbor was up to today. Then one day I just hated it all. My FB friends were sharing this video about popping a pimple and it was disgusting. My kids were playing in the next room, and I thought. “Why would I sit here and read this when I could be with my KIDS?!” It was one of those nice moments when my desire finally coincided with what I knew what important all along. I deleted Facebook and Instagram from my phone, and I’ve (rarely) logged on since.
I can also feel God urging me in ways I’m not responding:
- Spend Less Money—I crave stimulation, the shock of something new, foreign, and exciting. For a middle-aged suburban mom, the most convenient fix for this is new stuff. Like buying the new facial cream with the brilliant marketing–so exciting to try it to see if it works! Buy this new nail polish to see what my toenails look like in electric blue. I’ll read that new book! Pick up this fun magazine! A bright pink shawl because I don’t own anything like it! Until I own so much stuff and crap and clutter, I’m overstimulated. That’s the dark moment when I can clearly hear God saying, “This stuff is distracting you. Just stop.” But when I’m bored, I’m back at Target, mindlessly buying stuff I think will make me feel good.
- Go To The Beach—God is also doing some strong stuff with our family and the beach. A couple times a month, we leave our big, busy house to stay at Best of Times. It’s kind of a pain to get all the kids going in the same direction to get down there for the weekend. The beach house is small, and we always bring way too much stuff and also forget what we need. But at the beach, we are more ourselves, more peaceful, more connected to each other and God than anywhere else. This old, small house feels more like home than the one we’ve carefully set-up to be our home. And when it’s time to leave and head back to Suburbia, I feel like I’m doing something profanely wrong to my family. Every time, I know God is saying, “Feel that peace? This is where I want you.” But we have a whole busy life waiting for us. I think if I had more faith, I would listen to those strong desires and see what God’s telling me through them.
I didn’t share the last two with the kids because I’m too ashamed I can’t listen to those right now. But maybe one day, when we’re living a much simpler life, I’ll have a testimony for them about how we listened to God. When we’re living this simpler lifestyle with much less stuff, I’ll tell them this new life came from the new desires God gave Daddy and me.
And that’s when I really be able to tell them what listening to God looks like.
