Here’s what happened when our family unplugged from our busy schedules. Spoiler alert: in just a couple weeks, our usually efficient household became a frat house of sloth.
It all started in May, when the busy month fried our family. We gritted our teeth through every ballet recital, every end-of-the-year party, and every research paper, holding on to the glittering promise of summer. “Keep going!” I told the kids. “Vacation is almost here. You can stay in your pjs all day. We will have no place to go!”
Summer arrived and we untangled ourselves from the chaos. No more papers! No more books! No more running into school after the tardy bell. Our kids had shown up for spelling tests, stayed up late to do science projects, and eaten healthy breakfasts for 180 school days. Now it was time to relax. We were off the clock.
And we SO relaxed. The kids ate cereal straight from the box. They considered mornings in the pool their daily baths. Their hair become straw and their skin sandpaper and we didn’t care. We binged on ice cream and and ate cold pizza for dinner. This was summer and we could live in the haze of our own questionable decisions.
Only those questionable decisions turned us all into Jello.
Our kids not only embraced wearing their pajamas until noon, they lost the energy to dress in anything else. They loved playing on their Kindles and DSs and they stopped reading. They appreciated not having to put away their backpacks and uniforms each night—and they stopped picking up anything. Yesterday, one child walked around with snot on her face because she was “too tired to wipe it off.”
In just a couple short weeks of summer, our kids became sloggy slobs. Maybe it’s all the free time, but they have transformed into a needier, lazier, more irritable version of themselves.
I have too. I didn’t realize it, but the structure of our schedule was keeping us more than busy. Constant motion and daily challenges were giving us our self-confidence, even our happiness.
Getting up early and tacking a day of commitments was the engine behind my confidence. Every hard conversation I had, every workout I finished, every writing deadline I met was fueling my self-esteem. In May all that busyness had seemed overwhelming, but it turns out I needed it.
I can’t tell you how much I wish this was not the way the system worked. As an introvert, I would so much rather live in solitude and think deep thoughts in my pjs than do the hard things.
I realize now that we needed the deep breath of the summer–at first. It was good to sleep in a bit, to pig out on ice cream, to play video games, and to not brush our hair.
But enough is enough.
Now it’s time for some balance. This week we’re sleeping in–but getting dressed right away. We’re rolling out the to-do lists. We are combing our hair. I’m back to cooking dinners and going to yoga. Better decisions, more structure, and doing hard things will bring back some of our confidence. The kids are accomplishing chores, reading time, and worksheets. We’re trying to do this without stress, tears, and chaos.
But, for the record, we are keeping the ice cream.
