Friday’s FAQ

Today’s Fraudulently Asked Questions is with Catie. And get ready, because it’s retro!
FAQ #1: Wow, Catie. Look at you on Mother’s Day 2005. You were adorable! Any clue how your mom wanted to celebrate her special day that year?
Catie: I’m sure she wanted to go to IKEA. Or the beach. No, it was probably IKEA. My mom always wants to go to IKEA.

FAQ #2: Really? That labyrinth-like, Swedish furniture store? That smells like meatballs? She enjoys trying to find her way through all those tiny, fake rooms?
Catie: You have absolutely no idea. We once stayed in IKEA the whole day. We once went five times in one week. Here’s all the things I’ve done at IKEA: taken a nap, eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner (in one day), thrown up, cried, played chase through the store, met strangers who became friends, loaded up the entire back of our van so I had to ride in an illegal seat, and lost a tooth.

FAQ #3: You lost a tooth at IKEA?
Catie: Actually, I’m not positive about the tooth. But we’ve spent so much of my childhood there, that I’m just guessing I’ve lost a tooth at IKEA.

FAQ #4: So, for this Mother’s Day, she’s going to pick IKEA over one of those fancy hotel brunches or the whole family cooking for her?
Catie: Oh, yeah. Forget the brunches and stuff. This weekend is the IKEA Tent Sale. You know, once a year when they bring all the mismatched, damaged boxes out of the storeroom and sell them for 90% off? It’s sweltering under that tent, and the shoppers are crazy about digging through stacks of boxes to find the perfect Billy bookcase. But all the IKEA fanatics seem to love it.

FAQ #5: That all sounds awful. Will she expect you to go with her to this crazy Tent Sale?
Catie: Probably. She doesn’t really understand that no one else likes chatting with IKEA employees about new products while other crazy DIYers steal bookcase parts out of our cart. But, the meatballs are pretty good. And, it is Mothers Day.