This week, the temperature in Houston dipped into the 50s. Clearly Starbucks was packed, every Houstonian posted about “THIS WEATHER!” on Facebook, the dogs slept in a shivering heap, and my kids declared themselves frozen. Let’s chat about this frightful weather in some Fraudulently Asked Questions.
FAQ #1: You look cold, Nate. How are you handling the temperature dip this week?
Nate: Not well. Can you talk to my parents about turning on the heat? It’s sixty-two degrees in my room because they still have the thermostat set to the AC. I’m guessing they’re just being cheap.
FAQ #2: The lowest temperature this week was 50 degrees. So, it’s not too cold, right?
Nate: It’s usually something like 210 degrees in Houston. With that kind of climate, 50 degrees is freezing. People are freaking out. My mom has only made soup this week. We get hot cocoa. But, again, I think that’s so my parents don’t have to turn on the heater.
FAQ #3: Maybe embrace other non-heater ways to stay warm? Have you tried sweaters? A hat? Maybe a fire?
Nate: There’s something you need to know: anything burning in Santa’s chute really freaks kids out. Especially close to December. So, no fires. Ditto for sweaters. Because, ohmygoodness, they are itchy and annoying. Pretty much sweaters make me cry. So do hats.
FAQ #4: The weather is really freaking you out, isn’t it, Nate? How do you plan to deal with the rest of winter?
Nate: I’m hoping this week was pretty much it for our winter. I plan to be in the pool by Christmas. If that doesn’t happen, I’m taking matters into my own hands and cranking up the furnace.
