10. Driving through either Texas or the Midwest is boring–but for different reasons. In the Midwest, it’s corn field after corn field. In Texas it’s billboards. In Spanish. Either place, I tell my kids, “Let’s be quiet and look out the window for a while!” Their response is either, “But I don’t KNOW Spanish.” Or “But it’s just cornfields!”
9. Our kids look like Midwestern kids–mostly because of our stringy blonde hair. In Texas, when a mom asks, “Which kids are yours?” I can say, “The four blondes.” Because there are usually only four tow-heads at the Play Place. But in the Midwest, there are lots of blonde kids. Living in Texas, home of Big Hair, works well for us because stringy blonde hair needs lots of help.
8. Traffic is a problem in both Texas and the Midwest. In Texas it’s because of ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE COMMUTING ALL THE TIME. In the Midwest, it’s because of all the two-lane roads. And all the tractors crowding those roads.
7. The local delicacies are different. In Texas, we eat Mexican food five out of seven nights. I never cook it. Why would I learn how to perfect verde sauce or authentic tortillas when 75 restaurants in our city serve tangy verde sauce and tortillas made by Mexican grandmas? Why? In the Midwest very few restaurants have Mexican grandmas patting tortillas on their knee. Or servers who do not speak ONE WORD of English but can season the HECK out of a fajita. In the Midwest they do have delicious Beer Cheese soup and pastries filled with cabbage, which M loves. He eats these all he can when we’re in the Midwest. Because even though I can cook these Midwestern delicacies, I can’t cook them like a German grandma. Runzacan, though.
6. Midwesterners have a general knowledge of Texas geography. Texans have NO CLUE where anything is in the Midwest. If I say we’re going to Nebraska, they say, “By Michigan? Or is that by Chicago?”
5. Midwesterners pass down inheritances from family farms. Everyone has a family-feud story about farm inheritance. Texans are like this about oil money.
4. Everything happens and grows year-round in Texas. June isn’t too much different than November (except OH, THE HEAT AND HUMIDITY). In the Midwest, the world freezes and stops in November. So, in June, everyone is at the lake! at farmers’ markets!, and OUTSIDE EATING FRESH PRODUCE!
3. We know someone who goes to almost every Lutheran church in Texas. In the Midwest there is chaos with all the Lutheran churches. We can drive past a St. Luke’s Lutheran Church and NOT EVEN KNOW ONE PERSON THERE.
2. Pepsi has dominated the Midwest pop market. Coke (and Dr. Pepper) own Texas. This is not even discussing the pop versus soda debate. Which, to be honest, has been debated TO DEATH by now.
1. We love the Midwest because most of our family lives there. We love Texas because that’s where most of are friends are. Best of all, we love our kids feel the same way about both places.
