7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. -Psalm 121:7-8
Last week was Senior Walk at our high school, Lutheran South Academy. It’s always a bit startling to see all these students leaving LSA. The cliché is true: it goes fast. One minute, your high schooler is navigating finals for the first time—and the next, they’re announcing their college decision.
Life is constant endings and beginnings—especially for teens. Not just the end of high school, but quitting a sport they once loved, dealing with a death, moving houses, or saying goodbye to friends. Change is a guaranteed part of life. Learning to say goodbye well is learning to live well.
Here are five ways to help your teen say goodbye and move forward.
1. Be a Witness
Support your teen by witnessing what they’re experiencing. They feel lonely as they walk into an uncertain future and it can feel significant to be seen.
Here are some conversation starters to show that…
…“You’ve been to roughly 300 chapels at LSA, and today’s your last one. What have you learned from all those hours in chapel?”
… “What do you think your life will be like now that you’ve decided not to play baseball?”
… “Dad and I will have lots more time for you after your sister graduates. What do you think we need to do more?”
… “This is the first summer without your grandma living by us. That must be hard for you. What will you miss the most?”
2. Your Teen Feels Ten Different Emotions. Perfect.
Change means sadness, excitement, nervousness, and even anger. Your teen is feeling all of that as they try to imagine a future without the habits and routines they’re used to.
Create an environment where your high schooler feels comfortable opening up about what they’re experiencing. Take the time to listen to what they say without giving advice immediately. Be grounded enough to let them be the main character here. And reach out. When your teenager isolates themself, is angry or hurt, or seems sad, see what they need. Eventually, they’ll share their feelings about moving on or missing someone who is leaving.
3. Remember It’s Over (& It’s Not Over).
Encourage your teen to stay connected with friends and mentors from this season. High schoolers can be black-and-white about transition. Remind them that as they get older, friendships from their past can be the most valuable. Introduce them to the phenomenon of social media to keep in touch (Kidding. We all know they’ve discovered that already.)
4. Evaluate the Experience.
Help your teen move on by helping them process what they’ve learned about themselves. Important questions are, “What have you learned about yourself? Where did you see God in this experience? What do you now understand about life? What did you learn from your failures?”
Not only do these questions provide closure, but they also build the habit of lifetime learning.
5. God is the Constant.
Saying goodbye is just the beginning of a brand-new adventure. Keep looking forward.
Remind your high schooler of the truth in Psalm 121:7-8.
God is with you through all the changes. He is close to you as you leave this familiar place or season. And He will be with you in the next, as you walk through the door without any of the familiarity you usually count on.
You have a companion, a witness, and a Savior of everlasting love, who is always by your side.
